remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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