my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize