lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sorry my hands just texted you
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
