So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
All the doctor said was why
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
