What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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