i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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