Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
