would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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