definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
