He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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