If i come over, it means nothing
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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