I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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