I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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