Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
