I wanna bring you to show and tell
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
