I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
