Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
