Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I could fuck to npr.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
