ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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