it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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