you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
