the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I could fuck to npr.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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