There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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