I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
