I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
