I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize