with your own penis?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
