Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
