coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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