so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
