is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
