I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
