yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
