I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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