My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
