I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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