Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
