I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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