It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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