A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
