like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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