Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
