this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
