i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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