well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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