how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
