I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize