Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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