HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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