the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
