I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
