I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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