How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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