i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This baby is an asshole
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
