Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
