You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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