He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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