I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
