I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
