Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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