beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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