that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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